Prisoners To Sue Government Over Contaminated Meat

A Choughworld 'Exclusive'

In an interesting twist to the widespread reports of prison Halal meat being contaminated with pork DNA, we believe a small but vocal group representing prisoners will shortly take legal action against the UK Government for the fiasco.

We believe this will be the first of many cases where prisoners who, for religious reasons are forbidding to eat the flesh of a swine, will sue the Government for compensation as it breaches their human rights.

Said one imaginary inmate, Adam, "This is totally against my religeous beliefs and will result in me not being allowed into Heaven/Hell/Nirvana as my body is no longer pure."

He continued "Our sacred texts clearly state that we should not eat pig meat, or commit crimes. Whilst it was my choice to commit crimes, it was not my choice to eat forbidden products. My wife, Eve, always made sure that the food we ate conformed to our belief system."

Adam questioned "What right has the UK Government to mislead me into eating forbidden products? First they take away my liberty, now they have taken away my dignity and social standing within my tight-knit community."

We tried, slightly, to contact the MOJ for a comment, but received nothing but static, although that may have been we phoned the wrong number.

Remember readers, you heard it here first!