Two fire engines were called on Sunday to a chip pan blaze in Oldham at the start of National Chip week.
Fire crews administered oxygen to a 95 year old lady.
@manchesterfire: Two elderly people caught in chip pan fire in Oldham http://t.co/3zQdpggX
By the time the fire crews had arrived, a 77 year old man had carried the burning pan outside, and it had gone out. Here at Choughworld we don't recommend doing that.
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National Chip Pan Fire Week starts next week, and Fire Brigades (Services to the under 40s) will be demonstrating the devastating effect over the country. There's one in Preston today, where surprisingly not everyone has already got first hand experience.
When a chip pan is new it is shiny and full of pride in its appearance. Over time, as fat spatters its sides, it is relegated to the back of the cupboard, never to sit on the worktop and watch over its little unhealthy family again. As time goes on, it realises that it is only brought out when we want to use it, and, if Uncle Gordon could, abuse it. This is no accident folks, this is chip pan suicide! The poor bastards have had enough, they are all burnt out!
ReplyDeleteYet another funeral service I will need to perform, what a waste of a pan's life....
Deleteps, Uncle pervert, sorry, Gordon, has denied his fondness for inanimate objects on the post headed 'It's Snowing, Hailing, Raining and Sunny'. I feel I should point this out as he may sue me for defamation of his todger.
ReplyDeleteHere's at Choughworld we've been thinking about starting a problem page/ agony aunt. I suspect we'd have at least one taker...
ReplyDeleteReal or imaginary?
DeleteReal. We've definitely got 6 readers, because I tried to do multiple votes on the content poll and it wouldn't let me.
Deleteerr I may have a confession on that.......
DeleteI feel I need to speak up for the often maligned chip pan.
ReplyDeleteI am getting sick and tired of stupid people and golden oldies destroying these historical items, some were even manufactured before the year 2000.
It appears that the chip pan is only one of the common denominators in these frequent stories, the others being stupid people and golden oldies, or a combination of the two.
I think we should start a campaign to ban people from either being stupid or getting old and definitly from becoming stupid old people.
You may mock me, but it has been done before, Peter Pann successfully achieved it, with a little help from Miss Tinkerbell.
How short sighted of the MEN to have banned his contributions to their farcical online comment pages, had they only known.
Monitoring a certain rival publication over the weekend, ignoring football related stories, we definitly got more comments to our stories
DeleteI'm sure I saw a 'Paul Pann' make a comment after Peter had been banned. Are you still working behind enemy lines?
DeleteI'm also going to start monitoring the North Cheshire area for 'Tempura fryer fires'.
No comment
DeleteActually I am the 'original' Peter Pann of MEN fame and I can promise that sctachy is not Paul Pann. I kinow Paul, as he is my second cousin and currently resides in a high-security Travellodge.
DeleteI believe I have been banned because I 'appeared' in a news report, possibly Granada News. A friend of mine said she heard my name being mentioned during a report on the huge drop in MEN online contributors.
I thought it was because I called City Centre Snow Spokewomen, Patrika Carnival a meat product, obviously not.
Right I'm really confused now...
DeleteI'm me. 100% certain.
Some other people are also me, of which I'm 100% certain but other people occasionally take them for real people.
I'm 100% certain that Scratchy isn't me. Similarly Scratchy knows which other people are him. Or not.
Then we have some old friends from the MEN who sometimes post as themselves and sometimes post as Anonymous, and only they know when. Unless they are Avatars of the editorial team trying to make it look more popular than it really is.
What this is leading up to, is we could have an amazing game of 'Choughworld Cluedo' I just need to work out what the rules are.
I worked out I am me and you are you, anyone else - I gave up trying to figure it out within 2 days of posting comments. Now I don't try and think about it because it gives me a headache.
DeleteChoughworld Cluedo? ok, this could be fun on a message board.
I think it's about time the Government introduced a Stupidity Tax. You only pay it when you demonstrate where you are on the Thick-ometer.
ReplyDeletePut the bins out on the wrong day - Scale 2 payment.
Run to the papers when you have been a complete tit and let everyone know - Scale 3 payment.
Chip fan fire - Scale 4 payment.
There is a Stupidity Tax - it's called the National Lottery.
DeleteI once had a chip pan fire.
So you are scale 4 payment which equates to a return HS2 ticket...luckily there isn't a tax on flooding a friends dorm room
DeleteWhere does buying the MEN come?
Delete'No comment' That's not like you Scratchy.
ReplyDelete