Giving YOU What You Want

Titter was alive this morning over reports that Manchester city has been identified as having the most dog shite on its streets.

Following a snap poll this morning, titter users voted Manchester as the dog shite capital of the UK, with piles of it deposited overnight all over the city centre.

Council staff were innundated with reports this moanning that a large German Shepherd, like the one below, was seen roaming the city centre streets late last night, making deposits all over the pavements.





We currently understand that a prominent regional paper tried to contact the City Centre spokeswomen, Mrs UR Miss-Taken, after monitoring titter feeds looking for leads, hoping to get a another 'breaking' story.'  We cannot ascertain, beyond reasonnable doubt, whether that regional rag managed to get a comment, however we do understand that its journalists could, in theory, make one up praising the Council on its handling of the issue and blaming Government cut-backs; whether they will or not will depend on how they twist the story and whether they can make up their word-count by other means.

We here have to ask, is it too much trouble for pet owners to clean up after their pets foul the pavements? Could a better way be found?

One enviromentally sound solution would be to recycle chip pans that have been damaged in house fires. A church spokesperson, Rev. Do-You-Believe-Me, said "I have held numerous funeral services for fire-damaged chip pans after which we normally just cremate them. However if we could re-use them, give them a sense of renewed purpose -that would be fantastic." He added "Placing them under a squatting dogs backside would allow our older chip pans to show the public what could be done to help other fire-damaged chip pans in their area."