Wednesday 6 February 2013
Man Sectioned Under Mental Health Act
Reports were received last night that police were called to a house in Stockport after the wife of one of our contributors, Mr S.M.Head, became concerned that his mental health was deteriotating after disclosing he was having conversations with people that did not really exist.
On arrival at the house, the police found Mr S.M.Head acting erratically, saying "They do exist, they comment on my posts." The police having no other option and fearing for their own sanity, tasered the man repeatidly until his head expanded to twice its normal size.
On admission to hospital, he was examined by a on-call consultant psychatrist Dr Ur.Lying who immediatly recommended heavy sedation and Electro Convulsive Therapy.
Dr Lying was later heard to say "That is the worst case of a mental breakdown I have witnessed since my graduation at Calcutta Night School of Psychatristry in 2013 or was it Dhaka. The man clearly believes he is having electronic conversations with non-existent people, he is delierious, mad as the March Hare, I think we should taser him some more, what do you think sister?"
After visiting her husband this morning, Mrs S.M.Head said to our reporters who door-stopped her and threatened her that if she did not make a statement they would invent one "My husband is doing well, he had a quiet night, although perhaps as he was heavily sedated, that is not surprising. I had no other option, he kept going up to people in the street and saying 'I have a mental health problem, talk to me' -chasing them down the street as they tried to run away from him. Well, I can not have that.
I blame to the Time 4 Change* adverts on the radio, they kept telling him it was time to talk about mental health problems - he was only doing what he was instructed to do!"
Our reporting staff, on hearing the news were shocked. Said one member who wished to remain anonymous "He is barking mad, of course we do not exist."
*Note, here at Choughworld, we support the Time 4 Change campaign and do not wish to detract from its excellant work by writing spoof stories.
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There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself.
ReplyDeleteWhen you hear yourself answer, then you should become a little concerned.
When you strongly disagree with yourself, then it's time to get help.
As a long-serving resident Psychiatrist, for that is what I am, I must disagree with Dr Hibbert's comical response. His views are outdated and have been thoughtly debunked by scientific research undertaken over the last 2.5 minutes.
DeleteHearing any sort of voices, real or imaginary, must be viewed as a chemical imbalance of the brain. Whilst traditional remedies such as doing nothing and letting the service user grow old to the point where their hearing fails may have been appropriate during Mrs Thatcher's reign, modern day practice is to taser the person until their eardrums burst, a much more humane course of treatment
Anything these two can do, I can do for half the price.
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