UK Faces Gas Shortages

In extraordinary scenes not witnessed since the Great Depression, queues of people were forming outside greengrocers and supermarkets this morning.



With newspaper circulation rates continuing to decline, the Press have fought back with scare stories that the UK faces a gas shortage within 2 days, possibly 3, in order to reverse this trend.

However, whilst the newspapers were attempting to report a potential crisis faced by the Gas Industry, their poor standard of reporting led housholders to believe that the UK had limited supplies of brussel sprouts.





Said a Government sauce "This is ridiculous, the UK is not facing a gas shortage! We have storage tanks and a pipeline delivering brussel sprouts to our shops on a daily basis, the idea we would run out of this staple winter food is just plainly stupid."

They went on to explain "Even if we were facing a shortage of brussel sprouts, homeowners need not panic as they could quickly switch to using beans to ensure a gas shortage in the home could be avoided."

So there you have it, the truth. Not only is there no need to panic buy brussel sprouts but the Press have once again created panic when there was none.