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A middle aged man was said to be in a 'deep state of embarrassment' after making a fool of himself this weekend. Organisers of the recent scale modelling exhibition became aware of a red faced man marching up and down the exhibition, clearly very drunk. He would occasionally stop to look at the exhibits, before shouting 'No Surrender' and 'It's not racist to be anti-extremist'. At one point he looked like he was going to urinate on a scale model of a mosque, before it was pointed out to him that this was in fact a scale model of a London, Midland and Scottish Railway roundhouse, lovingly ,made from matchsticks.
After two hours of this buffoonery, he went home, stopping off at Wetherspoons for a fight.
"I just got confused," he said to our special reporter. "I was reading Choughworld, and I saw this event, and also the EDL damp squib in Manchester and I couldn't make up my mind which to go to. So I had 3 or 4 Special Brews to help me decide, and I just got my wires crossed. It's very embarrassing for me and for Mrs Chough. I wish I'd just stayed at home and jet-washed my patio," he said sadly.
Have YOU ever got drunk and turned up to the wrong event? Comment NOW!
I once went into an AA meeting with jump leads because my car wouldn't start, but I was sober -does that count
ReplyDeleteCould be worse. I once phoned up the RAC because I admitted I was powerless over alcohol - that my life had become unmanageable.
DeleteI once contacted Direct Line to see if they could help with my cocaine addiction, but I hadn't understood their business model as they offered my counselling rather than a couple of grams...
DeleteI once went into Wetherspoon's and asked them if they sold shorts. The barman said yes, so I said I'd have a pair as I had had an accident.
DeleteI went to a newsagent today and asked for a MEN, he asked if I wanted it in a brown paper bag so I wouldn't be embarrassed -what did he mean?
DeleteI had pulled a muscle in my hand so I went to a massage parlour in Eccles. Anyway to cut a long story short it turns out a hand job isn't a massage on the tendons of the hand.
DeleteAs we are now entering the realm of smut, I went into the corner shop to uh some family planning items, the lady tried to sell me her children.
Deletewhat does a software engineer use for contraception? Their personality
I think the time as come for me to make up a new story.... There were a few grill pan fires over the weekend, but no actual chip pans. Looks like our campaignn has worked, and as a consequence 20% of our news output has dried up.
DeleteI also went to the shop once and asked for a couple of pint pots, but apparently they didn't sell those sorts of glasses
ReplyDeleteI did actually pass the venue for the Modelling Exhibition on Saturday and what Choughworld failed to report (showing a lack of research the MEN its self would be proud of) was that there were in fact two events there on Saturday. The looks on the faces of the 95% elderly male attendees was a picture as they mingled with the slightly different demographic attending the “Tattoo Teaparty”
ReplyDeleteThanks for the on-site reporting, dare I ask which group you were in?
DeleteHaving previously had our site reviewed and declared it was written by 8 year-olds, I take your opinon that we are now comparable to the MEN (on one of their. better days) as an improvement in our standards
I wish I'd known that when I wrote the story. I did notice some people coming out of the exhibition late on Sunday night who didn't look like traditional scale modellers.
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