The system was launched by City Centre Supremo Patricia Carnival at a £1.5m celebrity attended ceremony on the roof of the Town Hall. Amongst the star-studded line up was ex-Prime Minister Mr Tony Blair and his 'prince of darkness' Mr Peter Mandelson; singer-songwriter Maradonna and making a guest appearance Peter Pan -all the way from never never land.
Before launching the new system Patrica 'the stripper' Carnival said 'For far too long has Manchester City Centre suffered noise and light pollution along with rising levels of NO2 reducing our childrens ability to survive, no more I say, it is time for pedestrians and our own dirty carcinogenic diesel buses to reclaim the streets.'
To the sounds of rapcious applause, he continued 'For far too long the self-centered motorist has had it too easy, they have ignored our warnings, they have ignored our suggestions to move to public transport, well that is it, we have had enough, like North Korea -we are launching our own nuclear weapons.'
With that final statement, Mrs Carnival released the ceremonial bottle of champagne from the roof of the Town Hall, smashing onto the ground below and activating the new system.
Withing minutes the first cars started to enter the new car park, only to detonate hidden land mines blasting their cars and occupants upwards, with the cars coming back to earth but their occupants heading in the other direction.
Is this a step to far? Has Manchester City Centre Councillors lost their marbles and will Peter Pan be able to find them again?
To be honest I kind of agree with this. It's better for all if we get moving more but I am worried about the greater chance of stepping in dog crap on my way to work. I could take my bike I suppose and live up to the name my fellow villagers have nicknamed me, it's better than the 'village idiot' that was thrown at me last year.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - why not emigrate to the USA? They have drive through cash machines there.
ReplyDeleteYou can swell up to fill your current vehicle then, like a hermit crab, abandon it and occupy a bigger one.
I would like to have known what Bill Oddie had to say at this submission to the internal combustion engine that hypnotises, enslaves and poisons us and our enviroment?
ReplyDeletePresumably handing out leaflets at leafy gardening centres advising people what kind of nuts and fat-balls to hang out for the blue tits. Environmental traitor!
I assumed the first comment was from Bill Oddie
DeleteI am sure I replied to this earlier. Chough -have you been removing comments?
ReplyDeleteNo, I've been out all day. Anyway I add comments, not remove then!
ReplyDeleteNot to be outdone, Stockport created its own car park today at the junction of Garners Lane & Davenport road by shutting the junction. Thousands of car drivers just abandoned their cars and walked to Bramhall park
ReplyDelete