Friday 8 March 2013

Trampwatch: Are you a Tramp?

A Tramp, earlier today
We all see them in the streets of Manchester.  Some of us ignore them, some of us give them a few coins and some angrily remonstrate with them.  But how can we tell if we are tramps.



Without using any celebrities to help, we have come up with the following tell tale signs.  Maybe your partner, your parents or a work colleague are tramps, but you don't realise it.





  1. Do you drink a bit too much? 
  2. Are you wearing clean clothes today?  Even your socks and pants?
  3. Personal grooming - are you looking your best, or can't you be bothered?
  4. Income - are you independently wealthy, or do you rely on handouts - or wages - from others?
  5. Do you smell of wee?
If you answer 'yes' to any of these questions, then you are probably on your way to being - or already are - a tramp.
Posted by at

13 comments:

  1. Peter Pann8 March 2013 at 17:13

    That must be a country tramp as there is clearly a tree in the background and as we know, cities do not have any tress left -the deers ate them all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Infirmus Cygnus8 March 2013 at 17:40

    I can admit to a resounding Yes or No to all questions.

    Sometimes I smell of wee but it it's an accident on extra-long car journeys where I just don't make it to the nearside wheel arch in time.

    Guess that means I shall have to change my drinking habits from wine and spirits to White Lightning, but not for much longer from Heywood Lidl it seems.

    ReplyDelete
  3. scratching my head8 March 2013 at 20:07

    Question 5 is rather ageist which, if you travel by bus, you will know what I mean -no offence intended, just an observation

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown8 March 2013 at 22:03

      I once got the only free seat on a trans-pennine train, then found out why.

      Delete
    2. scratching my head8 March 2013 at 22:31

      Try going first class, the seats have a device built into them that on.detecting a fluid spill release a deodorant to freshen ones.pants

      Delete
    3. Unknown8 March 2013 at 22:55

      I travelled to London First Class a few weeks ago for the first time in my life. It was very nice. There was a lady who had somehow blagged an upgrade and they refused her the complimentary free alcohol, and a middle aged man who was singing along loudly with his iPod.

      Delete
    4. scratching my head9 March 2013 at 08:21

      That will teach you for going to London. If you had headed North you would find quite refined people inhabit 1st class, well apart from me -but I am not quite at that age where I need those devices.

      Delete
    5. Unknown9 March 2013 at 11:14

      Quite the opposite I'm afraid. I boarded the Glasgow to London express. The characters involved were all Scotch.

      Delete
    6. scratching my head9 March 2013 at 19:15

      I did not realise they were exporting their distilleries by train

      Delete
  4. Fluffsec8 March 2013 at 21:47

    Question 1) could also do with some clarification, “Do you drink a bit too much?” is a little woolly, what is “a bit too much”? Some “so called experts” with their “book learning” say no more than 21 units of alcohol a week with no more than 4 in one day. More experienced hands say 5 to 6 pints a night is fine. With this in mind surely a more sensible question should be “Do you drink Cider?”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8 March 2013 at 23:09

      Hmmm.

      Just for further clarification, are you actually calling mrs fluffsec a tramp?

      Just asking...

      With love

      mrs chough

      Delete
    2. Mrs Chough-in-law9 March 2013 at 19:44

      I told you before dear not to live with him, he is a waste of space.

      Delete
  5. Unknown8 March 2013 at 22:09

    Q. What's the difference between a tramp and a fisherman on the Bridgewater Canal.
    A. A fishing rod.

    ReplyDelete

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