Tuesday 5 March 2013

Ask Chough

Robin Chough, earlier today.
In the good old days of the MEN when discussions were relatively uncontrolled, one accusation was constantly hurled at Mr Chough. "You know it all," they would say, as if it were a fault.

Well we asked Mr Chough if it were indeed true that he knew everything, but he denied it saying. "I have an inquisitive mind and I know how to search wikipedia.  If that is a crime then send me to Australia (although not South Australia, which was never a penal colony)."

As part of an irregular series, we have put some questions to Mr Chough.

Is it possible to cross the road with your eyes shut?
Yes, blind people do it all the time, and it's more fun than you think.

Who was funnier, Rod Hull or Billy Dainty?
Dainty was more versatile, but I preferred Hull.  If I were casting a general piece of entertainment with singing, a bit of dancing and some jokes I'd have chosen Dainty.  If I were to cast a disturbed individual whose right arm killed people while he looked on in horror, Hull would have been on my speed dial.

Manchester is the Capital City of the North, but where is the border?
I'm often asked this one.  The border between the North and the South is along the line of the Mersey and the Humber rivers.  There's a little confusion in the gap between the two, so we call that Derbyshire.    This border follows the historical borders between Northumbria and Mercia in the 8th century and is still good enough for me.  This does however place much of Stockport, South Trafford etc. in the South.

Is it possible to debate racism without being accused of being anti immigration?
It is possible, but you have to tread very carefully.

Can you recommend a good vegetarian alternative to Worcestershire Sauce?
Yes, Henderson's Relish is just as good and doesn't contain anchovies.


Would you like to ask Mr Chough a question?


53 comments:

  1. No thanks, I am cooking tea

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    Replies
    1. So you don't want advice on the 3 surefire methods for poaching an egg?

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    2. Mrs Chough-in-law5 March 2013 at 16:18

      Having just noticed the new poll, I have to question the options, there doesn't appear to be a 'No' option

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    3. Yes, I didn't see the need. If the poll was 'what is your favourite colour' you wouldn't expect to see the option 'seven' would you?

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    4. Mindful Thoughts5 March 2013 at 16:52

      You may not see the need, but my bestest mate Thoughtful has a different view

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    5. Mindful Thoughts and Thoughtful are the same person aren't they?

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    6. Mindful Thoughts5 March 2013 at 17:39

      No we are not, but we are a couple

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    7. I thought there were three. Thoughtful, Mindful Thoughts and Full Thoughts?

      Is one of them your love child?

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    8. Watch you tongue, we adopted her from a small village in Chad, brought her to England for a proper life, in a loving caring environment. we home school her so we can shield her from your leftie mates views and teach her real history and ethics. one day when she is old enough, we will sign her up to the BNP so she can see for herself how Lucky she is to compared to all the other foreigners and pay us back all the money it cost to raise her, plus interest of course.

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    9. I might just raise this a the next meeting of the Liberal Elite. We'll have her off you like a flash..

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    10. Thoughtful Mindful Thoughts5 March 2013 at 20:38

      just watch who you 'flash' at you pervert, my mother told me about creeps like you. she used to say "watch out for those flashers in the park, before you know it, they will be showing you their leftist neu leibour ways and articles o. the Guardian" - God rest her soul

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  2. donnald ffarrier5 March 2013 at 16:26

    How does I gett de council to fix my toelet seat

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    1. It's easy, just pop a note down the loo and give it a good flush. I'll leave it up to you what to write it with, or on.

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    2. Donald Farrier5 March 2013 at 20:41

      But I haave noi food fore 3 weeks and noo bog lapped caisue they stopped me benefitss

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    3. Wait until you're thin enough, the. Crawl down the pan and deliver your note in person.

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    4. donald farrier5 March 2013 at 21:50

      But thew toet seet is wedged downn the pann, I wass trying to umblok it after a feely bad curry, that's why I need dem to fix it

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    5. Just pop your head down the pan and keep flushing. The problem will go away before you know it.

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  3. Whereas Wikipedia does state that the southern border of Northumbria was between the Mersey and the Humber the accompanying map in actual fact shows it as between the Ribble and the Humber. Indeed an article on Mercia calls the “Land between the Ribble and the Mersey as “A disorganised region under Mercian control from the 7th century”, so rather than the proud northerners we thought we were we are in fact “Southern Jessies” or at best Brummies.

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    Replies
    1. It's controversial, and until someone uncovers an AA Atlas of Northubmbria circa 795 AD it will be up for debate. While researching this I did come across the counter view, that Manchester was never part of Northumbria, but the person putting this forward appeared a little crazy so I stuck with my original view.

      It is true that the area we live in fell under Mercian control while the kings of Northumbrian were busy getting knocked about by the Vikings, but that didn't last long as before long the Vikings conquered the North West anyway.

      I do feel though that the Viking/Northumbrian precedent outweighs any more considered argument based on anything that has happened in the past 1000 years.

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    2. Indeed if you can find definite proof that the Mersey was the historic boundary between Mercia and Northumbria we should petition for the sign on the A56 at Crossfords announcing it as the historic border between Lancashire and Cheshire to be amended or at least one placed on the Sale side announcing they are now entering the historic Kingdom of Northumbria


      (PS People of Sale your town has been part of Manchester since 1972 you have a Manchester Post Code live with it)

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    3. Who needs proof? I'm already making the sign, in Old Norse.

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    4. Weren't we part of Gwynedd, as opposed to the Eastern fringes of Elmet? Rheged was further North.

      I can see Wales from my house on a good day.

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    5. It depends when you decide your 'year zero' was. Bearing in mind the dialects and place names owe more to the Northumbrian and Viking period than to the period when the Welsh were Britons I'd have the border as it is.


      I think the reality was that up until faiy recently nobody really wanted to claim us...

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  4. How do plasticisers work in PVC chemically?

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    Replies
    1. They mix with the raw PVC and make it into plastic. You then add glass and put it into the holes in the front of your house to keep the wind out.

      I must admit, Prof Brian Cox helped me out with this one.

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    2. If you note, I asked 'chemically.' I seem to remember a lively debate on this where you were suitably impressed by the knowledge being imparted and could not 'add' anything to the debate

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    3. Although to be fair, it was the only topic you could not 'cover.'

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    4. Yes, but life is a journey and we live and learn. SInce becoming best friends with Professor Brian Cox, I've learnt a lot about science too.

      I'll quote from the text he sent me

      "Hi Chough,
      I'm sure you can handle the science questions on your own, but chemically speaking, the plasticiser 'bonds' with the PVC"

      So there you go, it 'bonds'.

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    5. Could you ask Coxie when we be able to see the next comet and where in the sky it is. Thanks

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    6. Professor Brian Cox5 March 2013 at 19:20

      That's easy. You just need to calculate the trajectories of the comets and asteroids and plot a vector to see where it will appear.

      Then you can google 'next comet location' and see if you were right. I know I was.

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    7. Hey, get your own column. "Ask Brian Cox" is next week, when I've practised the verbal mannerisms better.

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  5. Paul Pann (aged 13 3/4)5 March 2013 at 17:18

    What does the term 'missionary position' refer to

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    Replies
    1. Paul, you need to have a chat with your Dad on this, if he doesn't find your Mum attractive then he will be able to explain the 'mission' part.

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    2. Good advice. I was going to say 'ask your local priest but on reflection, maybe don't.

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    3. No I should be alright, Paul is short for Paul

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    4. Damn mobiles, I should have said Paul is short for Paula, so priests won't pester me for favours

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  6. Chough, can I have Brian's number please? Scratchy won't (I prefer 'can't) have me.

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    Replies
    1. No, get your own celebrity scientist. I hear Heinz Wolf is on the lookout for a stalker.

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  7. Is it true that it only takes light from the suns core 7 ish minutes to reach earth?

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    Replies
    1. That's bollocks and you know it, you stalker dodger. I do believe, however, that a song has been written about the time it takes for light to travel from the moon to the earth and that the word 'Angels' somehow comes from the depiction of this in its evolution into our language.

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    2. No because the light travels from the surface

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    3. Professor Brian Cox5 March 2013 at 19:15

      Just imagine that the core of our Sun is at the bottom of a gravity well. Not unique but one of billons.

      Now to climb out of the bottom of the well, the light, or photon as we scientists call it, but climb up a slimy rope.

      By the time it's got to the top of the gravity well,it still has to climb up the gravity hill, but it's tired, so it takes a lot longer than you think.

      And that's why I love physics.

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    4. Light, or photons, do originate in the core of the sun, as professor Coxie has just pointed out. But the miserable sod didn't answer my question, perhaps he should become a MP

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    5. The answer to your original questions no, it takes much longer than that. I remember seeing te exact number on on of Prof Cox's tv shows or in his book about physics. It's like a thousand years or something amazing.

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    6. Last.I heard it was in the millions, but was hoping for a better estimate

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    7. Yes he may have said thy, but to be honest sometimes I think he exaggerates to gain attention.

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  8. Whatever happened to 'Quote of the Day'? You said it was first in series but there's only been one so far.

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    Replies
    1. I didn't really like the second one in the list so I drifted off and forgot to do it again.

      You should see my half-finished robot collection.

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  9. Professor Brian Cox5 March 2013 at 19:38

    Will you stop pretending to be me on your funny little blog?

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    Replies
    1. Professor Brian Cox5 March 2013 at 19:39

      Hey, I'm the real Brian Cox - who are you?

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    2. It might be Bill Oddie, he is known to impersonate other people - he was doing it at the AGM

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    3. I think we've got more celebrity contributors than readers, which is something the MEN can't yet say.

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    4. just wait, give it time

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