"My wife went to the Cariibbean for her holidays." 'Jamaica?' "No she went of her own accord" (So far so good) 'Antigua' (aren't you eager' "Well I was keen but unfortunately my wife was murdered" 'Tutks and Caicos?' "No it was locally cannibals" 'Barbuda' (sounds a bit like dd the barbecue her) "No they roasted her" 'Cuba?' "No yet cooked her whole" 'Sorry or yor loss' "I'll get Aruba (over) it"
It's a shame the two Tonnies aren't both still around. I could sell it to them.
This rabbit went in to a pub "I'll have a pint of lager and a ham toastie" He went back the next day "I'll have a pint of lager and a cheese toastie" He went back the day after "I'll have a pint of lager and a cheese, ham and tomato toastie He didn't go back the next day because he died of mixingmatoasties.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk
ReplyDeleteThis joke is so bad it requires subtitles....
ReplyDelete"My wife went to the Cariibbean for her holidays."
'Jamaica?'
"No she went of her own accord"
(So far so good)
'Antigua' (aren't you eager'
"Well I was keen but unfortunately my wife was murdered"
'Tutks and Caicos?'
"No it was locally cannibals"
'Barbuda' (sounds a bit like dd the barbecue her)
"No they roasted her"
'Cuba?'
"No yet cooked her whole"
'Sorry or yor loss'
"I'll get Aruba (over) it"
It's a shame the two Tonnies aren't both still around. I could sell it to them.
Are you HUNGARY madam? I'll FUJI then.Don't RUSSIA.
DeleteOn the Fifth day, God made a single humped camel. And he looked on it, and saw it was not quite right.
Delete"Bactrian drawing board" he spake.
What do you call a cow that sleeps in the afternoon?
ReplyDeleteA bull-dozer.
This rabbit went in to a pub
ReplyDelete"I'll have a pint of lager and a ham toastie"
He went back the next day
"I'll have a pint of lager and a cheese toastie"
He went back the day after
"I'll have a pint of lager and a cheese, ham and tomato toastie
He didn't go back the next day because he died of mixingmatoasties.
You'll get it if you're a vet.
My next door neighbour who was decorated for his services in Vietnam says he doesn't.
DeleteSchrodinger's walked into a pub.... And simultaneously didn't. That's one for Brian Cox.
DeleteIf as you describe, he walked into a pub - then that is definite, because you viewed it; so he could not have 'simultaneously didn't '
DeleteWhat you do not know, is whether he made it into the pub or vanished into another dimension - until you go and have a look.
No need for Brian Cox
If a tree falls in a forest, and no-one hears it, does it fall at all?
DeleteTo really be sure you could set-up monitoring equipment for the impact of the tree in the ground
DeleteBut if I looked the monitoring equipment then I would be responsible for the tree falling (or not).
DeleteIf there was a bird nesting in the tree, it would ruin the experiment anyway, so I don't think I'll bother.
Two cats on a tin roof, which one slips of first? the one with the smallest mu
ReplyDeleteWhere do tadpoles got to change into frogs? The croakroom
ReplyDeleteWhy do people eat snails? Because they do not like fast food