Government Turns UK Into Theme Park

It has been announced by the government today that the whole of the UK will be turned into a theme park, housing the worlds largest roller coaster called the Austerity Ride.





The previous plans for the roller coaster involved a massive 'three dipper' design that would take patrons on three consecutive 'dips' -an almost unheard of feat. However due to cost overruns and lack of funds, the design has been scaled back to only have two 'dips' -nominally called 'David' and 'George.'

Labour instantly jumped on the Government for cancelling the third dip saying, "Typical of this cut cut cut Government to abandon the third dip just to save a few Pounds. What could have been a world's first, something the UK could have been proud of and rallied behind has been scaled back into another me me me ride."

The theme park is expected to be opened in 2015 to co-incide with the planned increase in the state pension to £144 a week. Is this a coincidence, we do not think so -but what do you think?