Thursday 4 April 2013

By Popular Demand: Ask Brian Cox

Brian Cox, relating a fishing anecdote
We've all heard him play keyboards on the Labour Party theme tune of 1997, and many of us have watched his soppy yet compelling science shows on the TV.  Some have even read his science fiction books, about relativity and physics.

But few have had the chance to question the reclusive boffin.  Choughworld is proud to announce that the publicity shy uber-nerd has agreed to answer 5 carefully selected questions.


CW: Our readers have speculated on the size of your intellect.  How big is it really?
BC: "I don't think anyone has a grasp of that other than to say: it's big."

 CW: David Wilton believes that the Large Hadron Collider will destroy the world, by letting immigrants in from other dimensions, like in Torchwood.
BC:  "Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat."
CW: How did you become an obscure pop star?
BC: " I always knew I wanted to be an astronomer or someone who explored space or a physicist."

 CW: The universe is over 1,000,000 years old, but how old is the earth?
BC:  "The Earth is only 6,000 years old"

 CW: When most kids were working a paper round to get some spare cash, you were dreaming of becoming a professor. Why is that?
BC: "I didn't like getting up on Sunday mornings."
(Answers (C) Professor Brian Cox & The Guardian.  Questions (C) Choughworld)
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7 comments:

  1. Paul Pann4 April 2013 at 20:56

    Dear Prof Cox, how big a twat is David Wilton?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Infirmus Cygnus4 April 2013 at 21:01

      I think this article is disgusting, with language bordering on vile. I am tempted to complain to someone.

      There are two uses of the DW term.

      Delete
    2. Professor Brian Cox4 April 2013 at 21:09

      Imagine the entire solar system was 26 miles in diameter. The Earth would be the size of a large marble, pluto (the dwarf planet) would be smaller than a pea.

      On this scale, a twat the size of David Wilton would be a minor black hole, that could swallow up the sun in one racist diatribe.

      Delete
  2. Paul Pann4 April 2013 at 21:18

    Dear Prof Coxy, what are your views on the announcement that 'we' may have some experimental data on Dark Matter and should racists like David Wilton be worried?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Professor Brian Cox4 April 2013 at 21:30

      Mrs Cox advises that most dark matter can be removed by a boil wash.

      Delete
    2. Paul Pann4 April 2013 at 21:33

      I will have to check with Tinkerbell on that one, then again she uses Fairy

      Delete
  3. scratching my head5 April 2013 at 19:03

    Professor, how big a cock is George Osborne for using the Philpott tragedy for justifying his welfare cuts?

    ReplyDelete

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