Sunday 7 April 2013

Crime Level Increases on Saturdays

We can exlusively reveal that crime levels dramatically increased yesterday (Saturday 6th April 2013) and that level of crime will be repeated every Saturday from now on.





This Saturday the cost of a copy of the downmarket regional newspaper, the MEN, increased from 50p to 70p, a whopping 40%!

The dire MEN tried to justify the price increase by including a tv guide for the week, along with an expanded weekend guide plus 1 extra cryptic crossword for crossword fans, oh and a sports wraparound for the Grand National.

Said one exasperated purchaser, Mr P.Pann, "This is daylight robbery, it is criminal! They think they can add a few extra pages and get away with charging 20p more? Well stuff that I will not be buying it anymore."

Said another, Mrs P.Pann, "This paper used to be respectiable and provided good value for money, a worthwhile investment but now -I would not even use it to collect my vegetable peelings."

So there you have it, a crime is taking place whenever a Saturday copy of the MEN is sold. Will this be their downfall?

5 comments:

  1. You mean people still actually pay for it?

    Why bother when you can access the website for free or if you still want a paper version, pick it up in town!

    At least the MEN are doing their bit for the environment by recycling stories!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've previously suggested that Scratchy must have a lot of budgies to keep buying our rival rag, but he denies it.

      Delete
    2. Yes, I still pay for it and am the butt of jokes about budgies.

      The main reason I pay for it is that I do not go into the City Centre where it is free and people tend not to leave it lying around in Stockport.

      The main reason I get a paper version is for the puzzles and the letters page, which I also contribute to...but you will have to guess who I am.

      Delete
    3. Which reminds me, I need to catch up on some research.....

      Delete
  2. CC, Original and Best8 April 2013 at 19:18

    I thought this was going to about The Saturdays. Ah well, back to the Mail

    ReplyDelete