UKIP In Historic Split with Facism

Nigel Falange, looking Thoughtful

In a move that shocked his followers evertywhere, UKIP's Caudillo Nigel Falange has denounced fascism.  On a rare visit to Scotland, the shiney buffoon managed to alienate a nation by referring to the scotch as 'fascist scum'.

This move will confuse some of his followers, who don't really understand Europe, but do recognise a someone with a robust attitude towards immigration that matches their own.

More unhinged members of his far right movement understood his sentiments.  "This is typical of the fascist left," ranted Thoughtful.  "As soon as someone expresses a robust view on racism, they are denounced by these anti-English racists."

Others are more confused by Falange's move to curry voters in Scotland, which is currently indulging in a referendum to leave the UK, but stay in Europe.  "I don't understand, is it me or wot, but will we have two referendums, what if we want to leave Europe and leave the UK?"

Don't worry UKIP voters, if this all gets too confusing, just remember that Falange shares your views on immigration, and that's all you care about.