New London Airport Announced

London will commence building its new 'Boris' London airport later this year, with the forecast that it will replace Heathrow as the UK's principal hub within 10 years.






Construction contracts are due to be signed today that will pave the way for the construction of the new 'Boris' London Airport.

The Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has argued since he was first elected that Londoners need a new airport and that it should be built within his realm.

Whilst the Government's unofficial position is that Heathrow should be expanded, Sir Johnson has robustly argued that these expansion plans will mean that constituents in his City State will experience even greater environmental pollution and receive no benefit.

Despite opposition from his own constituents that building the new 'Boris' airport would increase environmental pollution by having the airport located in East London as opposed to out in the countryside, Mr Johnson has commissioned no less that 1024 reports to prove that his detractors are 'narrow minded and relatively poor people, as opposed to those in the west of London who are rich and therefore enlightened.'

In order to make the new London airport commercially viable, Mr Johnson has decreed that Heathrow should be invaded by his serfs and closed for good.

However a MP select committee looking into this conflict of opinion has reported today that the purchase of land in East London would make this new airport prohibitively expensive for tax payers and called on Mr Johnson to be hung, drawn and quartered.

In typical 'Boris' style Mr Johnson laughed at their suggestions and said that the land issue was a red-herring as they would simply use his own ego to land the planes on.

We ask, are you a 'Boris' airport supporter, an expanded Heathrow supporter or a couldn't give a monkeys supporter as long as Boris goes?