Friday, 25 January 2013

Exclusive: Crime down 11%

Crime figures have baffled experts by falling by 11%.

Have feral kids become too lazy to cause trouble?

Here's what the Crime Commissioner is saying on Twitter.

"@GMPCC: #PCC welcomes crime figures which show 11% drop in crime across Greater Manchester http://t.co/vb4bE0Ot"

Read the full statement at
http://t.co/vb4bE0Ot
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13 comments:

  1. scratching my head25 January 2013 at 09:26

    The thing to remember is these 'feral' kids have just robbed a load of new mobile phones, iPods etc from children who just received them as christmas presents. Any crime analysts knows, the period straight after xmas is always quiet for new crimes

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown25 January 2013 at 10:12

    Possibly another factor is that this years figures don't include the 2011 riots whereas last years do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Baron25 January 2013 at 10:33

    I could solve the problem of juvenile crime at a stroke by simply raising the age of criminal responsibility to eighteen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Embembooshkin25 January 2013 at 11:34

      I don't think you're fully grown until you reach 36.That would make pleasing figures.

      Delete
    2. Unknown25 January 2013 at 11:47

      I always feel sad when I see people in their 40s getting arrested. You should have calmed down by then at least.

      Delete
    3. Embembooshkin25 January 2013 at 11:50

      They tend to have the same toothless,wingnut appearance about them when they reach their 40's. Either that or they look like Mr Sheen. The cleaning fella not the 'winning' actor.

      Delete
  4. Unknown25 January 2013 at 11:49

    It's funny, but this story isn't even mentioned in a certain shoddy rival publication. I'll change the title to 'Exclusive'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Embembooshkin25 January 2013 at 11:52

      That'll learn 'em. The writing in these articals outshines the MEN's efforts.

      Delete
    2. Embembooshkin25 January 2013 at 11:53

      Really well done,Chough.

      Delete
    3. Unknown25 January 2013 at 12:20

      So basically all I need to to to publish a better informed rag than the MEN is to listen to the news in the morning, then search twitter on the way to work.

      Delete
    4. Embembooshkin25 January 2013 at 15:47

      Exactly

      Delete
  5. CC, Original and Best9 February 2013 at 20:23

    Immigrants have taken everything of value home with them, so nothing worth stealing anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. N Falange, UKIP11 February 2013 at 13:32

      They used to say "An Englishman's home is his castle", but when I applied to have a portcullis fitted to mine, the 'Elf and Safety' brigade turned me down.

      Delete

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