Vatican Reveals John Paul II 'miracle'

We can exclusively report that the Vatican have revealed the 'miracle' that has been attributed to John Paul II, paving the way for him to be made a saint.




Whilst some believe the fact that an alledged Nazi youth member became Pope in the first place was a miracle in itself, we can now reveal the true 'miracle' -and it is....that Choughworld is still going.

Yes, you read that right....the Vatican officials believe the fact that we have ridiculed the Pope, people have come and gone...and that we are still in operation is a miracle.

Well, we would like to thank the Vatican for the recognition but fear that we have become a dormant site now.

As always, you decide.

Daily Moan Bemoans PM For Not Shutting It Down

The Daily Moan often criticises others for their low moral standing and harangues the Government of the day to do more to protect children from online threats such as pornography and today is no different.



View Larger Map

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2343486/DAILY-MAIL-COMMENT-The-day-action-protect-children.html

Whilst its intentions may be pure, we do have to ask -is having the right hand side of their homepage loaded with pictures of saucy women in scantily clad outfits suitable for the most popular (is this right? Ed) national title.

Obviously they believe it is, however we are not convinced.

As an aside, we were going to place a nice little picture of a man moaning, but the use of google to find such a thing listed a load of porn sites and not being brave enough to visit any -we decided not to have one instead placing a map identifying their headquarters.

Although this has made us think, should we stop calling it the Daily Moan?

Spoilt for Choice

The Aberdeen Donside by-election takes place on the 20th June and Scottish racists are spoilt for choice.






We have listed the candidates in no particular order, so you make your own minds up who may or may not be the racist parties in this by-election, if indeed there are any racists (closet or otherwise) at all.

Conservatives: Ross Thomson
UKIP: Otto Inglis
Monster Rabid Racist Party: David Wilton
National Front Scotland: Dave MacDonald
Green Party: Rhonda Reekie
Labour: Willie Young
Liberal Democrats: Christine Jardine
Scottish Christian Party: Tom Morrow
Scottish Democratic Alliance: James Trolland
SNP: Mark MacDonald

Who would you vote for?

Two Phrases Rarely Seen in The Same Sentence

In my humble opinion two phrases that I would never have thought of seeing in the same sentence are "The Sun" and "Responsible Journalism."

However they have now! The Sun is trying to defend itself against a libel action brought by that upstanding MP, Andrew Mitchell (he of "Plebgate" fame) by using this as a defence.

http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/sun-outlines-responsible-journalism-defence-against-andrew-mitchells-%C2%A3150k-plebgate-libel-action

Well I thought is was humorous.

Speaking of which, here is another witty story.

http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/content/sun-says-sorry-et

For once I agree with The Sun...and would like to apologise to any aliens (sorry Mrs Wilton) that may be reading this in a galaxy far far away (but probably not far enough away for Mrs Wilton liking)....and if you do decide to visit make sure your visa is in order!

New Words For the Dictionary

The Oxford English Dictionary 2013 edition's release in June will be adding new words and new definitions for such things as Tweet and Twitter, and that got us thinking...do you have any new words that should be considered?





http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343053/Too-tweets-make-official-word-Oxford-English-Dictionary-Twitter-recognised-time.html

Here is one to start things off:

Exhaustipated - to tired to give a shit

Have fun...

Kids Will be Kids...

So what is the most interesting thing you have ever done with chemical symbols? Have you every found anything witty to do with the periodic table, or was Chemistry just a real bore?





 I have to admit, I was even more boring at school than now, but for a real wheeze, click on the link below....kids, don't you just love em!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343011/Do-know-periodic-table-Student-gets-hot-h20-posting-list-elements-formed-rude-message-yearbook.html

What Did Private Eye Know ?

Private Eye is well known for its Parodies but also for informing the public what the Establishment, institutions, companies and people would prefer you not to know. However, following the long running Levison Inquiry, questions are now being asked "What did Private Eye know about the Murdoch's private lives?"






Insiders have acknowledged that, following the announcement that 'Ruppies' is divorcing his third wife Wendi, Private Eye may have had insider knowledge of the relationship troubles within the Murdoch's relationship.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2341163/Rupert-Murdoch-files-divorce-wife-14-years-Wendi-Deng.html

It has been some months since Private Eye ran a parody on the troubles within the Murdoch household, with Ruppies unable to resist the urge to 'tweet,' switching back instead to the 'Prince of Sorrows' parodies of Prince Charles awaiting to ascend to the throne.

Did they know the troubles were real? Were any underhand tactics used in discovering there were maritial problems within the Murdoch's relationship, or was it a pure coincidence.

We have no idea, do you know?

Sodding Goldfish Strike Again

They are at it again, but this time they are getting the Chinese into trouble.




As has been asserted before by some of our more paranoid researchers, cats are often blamed for devious behaviour and underhand tactics to gain an 'upper hand' -but the real masters of ingenuity are the goldfish behind them whispering in cat's ears.

Goldfish are so good at throwing people off their scent, some are now starting to suspect whether it is the chinese controlling the cats.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/lost-pet-or-double-agent-meet-freya-the-roving-tabby-of-the-treasury-8650391.html

It's not the Chinese controlling the cat, IT'S THE GOLDFISH....

Bedroom Tax ! What Bedroom?

Leeds City Council residents need not worry about the so-called Bedroom tax, as none of them have spare bedrooms in their council houses!!!




http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/may/29/leeds-council-bedroom-tax-solution

In an ingenious symantic move, Leeds City Council have reclassified any spare bedrooms a tenant may have as spare 'non-specific rooms' -thus exempting them from the 'Bedroom tax' and even entitling them to a refund of any 'tax' paid to date.

Brilliant use of the English language, sure to get up the nose of one Mr E.Pickles of Westminster.

South Shields Elect Looney Fringe

Shock news has been received that the Northern town of South Shields have elected a loonie to their local council.





Whilst the closet loonie party, UKIP, is now the official opposition party to this Labour led council following the defection of 3 independent councillors to their wacky cause, the real shocker is that a Conservative was actually elected by the people.

Whilst the towns folk can be forgiven for the UKIP opposition situation, as they elected these people as independents, that cannot be said for their actions which resulted in a TORY being elected.

Said one Geordie, "I know people on that side of the river were a bit loony BUT I would never have thought that anyone there would have voted TORY, for christssake... what next?"

A Tory council member in South Shields, whatever next? SNP annexing Northumberland? Actually that may not be such a bad thing!